because You're the only one who I believe in

sorry if several days ago I just making a noise about my moody and everything that should be easy but I made it complicated and it still because how bad my mood and how a mess my mind (again and always). yes sometimes I asking myself why I always make something complicated but its so easy to solve for others, and why I always think hard something that musn't, and once again why it's hard to say what I really want to say because I often can't translate what contain of my brain and what really I wanted.
so, now, I just thankfull to God, hem not just now but I hope yesterday-now-later-tomorrow-forever I always remember extend gratitude to God. yes why? dont ask why, it should we do as a sign of our thankfulness., how can you dont say thanks after everything that you get from God (ehem)
so I reliaze that there's nothing I can't deny if almost everything I wanted I almost get. family, friends, someone and others. but sometimes I forget it. sorry God, I dont mean it, but it's some part of my mistake. and I reliaze, I'm not close with You as close as before, even sometimes I deny it, I alway pretend (though) that I still close with you like before, but I won't lie my self if I'm change, I'm sightly turn. what a pity I'm. I always makes aliby if I'm tired because of my full activity so I just have a little time to talk with You, God. yes I know it's not reasonable. and the worst thing is sometimes there are many gosh so it make me more lazy, and it make me postpone my pray time until the time almost over. once again sorry God
and so now I want get my self close with You again, and it will be better if closer than before.
and I wont be a person who come to God when I get difficulty, just when I need but forget when I'm happy.
and God,something  that most  I really want You grant is pleaseeeeee make me accepted in PTN because it's the only way (now) to make my parent proud of me. because before it I think, I never make them proud of me so it's the only way for now. even I know my desirability not as big as my effort. but I still try, yes I want try hard God, so please keep in my side, making easier in every my way because You're the only one who I believe in.





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"one day there live a genius and smartest man in the world. he can answer every questions in the world, but just one simple question that he can't answer . he said "I dont why I love. I just really love you"

*ini gombal tapi narsis juga yah hahaha